Non-verbal courtesy - Should Miss Manners make a come-back?
Wednesday, September 9th, 2009I read a fascinating article in the Wall Street Journal - Why Gen-Y Johnny Can’t Read Nonverbal Cues.
The basic premise is that Gen-Y’ers are so caught up in social networking, all of which is written, that they haven’t picked up on the non-verbal cues that are basic to courtesy when meeting face-to-face. The author, Prof. Mark Bauerlein, states the following:
“We live in a culture where young people - outfitted with iPhone and laptop and devoting hours every evening from age 10 onward to messaging of one kind and another - are ever less likely to develop the “silent fluency” that comes from face-to-face interaction. It is a skill that we all must learn, in actual social setting, from people (often older) who are adept in the idiom.”
Tied into this is the split attention inherent in constant multi-tasking. Ever attended a meeting during which attendees appear to devote more attention to their “Crackberries” than to the speaker? They may think they are being more efficient. What they are actually being is rude.
Time to reincarnate Miss Manners? Perhaps, although strict adherence to old-fashioned etiquette rules can be extreme. It might be better to use our opportunities, when observing such behavior, for teachable moments. When we do so, we should strive to be courteous and diplomatic ourselves, not judgmental or high-handed. Lead by example.
Take a moment to read the comments as well as the article. It was interesting to note that the stronger notes from authors disagreeing with Prof. Bauerlein, tended to come from some of those Gen-Y’ers. They have some viable points and we should all listen to the input.
My bottom line is this. Excellent communication skills - written, verbal, and nonverbal - are critical for success in our world. Add courtesy to the mix and you have something truly effective. We can all agree on that.