To add insult to injury, the language is deteriorating.  I tried to look at the brighter side in my last blog entry, which focused on political slogans.  This time, I move to the Dark Side.  I must protest the recurring, deadly crime of verbicide.  That crime is the deliberate slaying of nouns by turning them into very bad verbs.  The worst offenders are the so-called language professionals - broadcasters.

Two recent examples set me groaning, then writhing in pain.  Have you heard all those news reports on early voting?  I heard a TV news reporter discussing citizens going out to “early vote”.  Ouch!  How about having them vote early?  It doesn’t even cost you extra words!

Then there is the non-stop effort to build up the coffers with election cash, otherwise known as fundraising.  No longer do party stalwarts get out there to raise funds.  No!  They get out there to “fundraise”.  Fundraise?  When did that verb make it into Webster’s?  Or the venerable Oxford dictionary?

At least there are some really wonderful commentators out there, literate and blessed with the ability to communicate in clear, educated, even erudite sentences.  I actually heard one of them use the word “obstreperous” in conversation.  Now there’s a word!  The sound of the word, with all of those interesting consonants, actually enhances the meaning of the word itself.  And you don’t hear it every day.

The Word Cop (that’s me!) pleads for mercy!  We have lots of wonderful words - verbs and nouns alike.  Let’s use them, dare I say (Dare! Dare!), correctly.

I was reading the latest online copy of “Michigan Today”, an alumnae publication from the University of Michigan, of which I am a proud alumna.  (Go Blue!)  There was an article by Professor Emeritus Richard W. Bailey.  His topic was “Campaigns and slogans”.  Certainly an appropriate topic at this particular point in history. 

I don’t know about you, but regardless of political persuasion, many if not most of us are heartily sick of this endless campaign.  So I thought it would be a good time to have some fun with words and join Professor Bailey in looking at some campaign slogans.  In his article, he states, “Political words with semantic heft have the power to endure.”  Unfortunately, he doesn’t see much hope for many of the inventions coming out of the current campaign.  As an example of a good slogan that will live on, he goes back to the Eisenhower campaign of the 1950’s with its slogan I Like Ike.  Eisenhower was already well known by the nickname “Ike”, the slogan embraced him with the word “like”, it happened to rhyme, and fit conveniently on a button.  What’s not to “like”?

Ignoring the current campaign for a moment (Whew! What a relief!), let’s look back a bit.  How about 1948’s “Give ‘Em Hell, Harry!”  I like that one.  It appeals to the feisty, everyday American psyche and offers a sense of a spirited fight. 

Looking further back, there is 1928’s slogan, “A chicken in every pot.  A car in every garage.”  It speaks of a promise of prosperity offered, if not realized, by Herbert Hoover.

In 1964, it was, “All the way with LBJ.”  Another catchy little rhyme.  Of course, the young people responded with, “Make love, not war.”  In 1992, it was, “It’s the economy, stupid.”  Maybe we should be using this Clinton cliche now!

Our language can be fun!  It can also utilize that entertaining fun to offer powerful, persuasive communication.  We will have to see in the years to come if any of the words being used in the 2008 election have the staying power Professor Bailey discusses.

I will indulge myself and close with a non-political, partisan University of Michigan slogan that came out of my years as a student, a time when Bo Schembechler was our coach and Woody Hayes still led the Ohio State Buckeyes (the enemy!!).  I was walking from central campus to the “Big House”, as the stadium is still known, one football Saturday in the early ’70s.  It was the annual Big Game at the Big House - Michigan versus Ohio State.  I walked surrounded by other students, alumnae and football fans, all excited and enjoying the chilly, late fall day.  There were many vendors on hand.  I stopped and purchased the following irreverent button, which I have kept all these years:  “Give Woody a Bo Job”

Go Blue!

What made this one different?  Well, there are certainly differences in the storm itself, but that’s not my expertise or my concern here.  I will leave that to scientists and meteorologists.

From my perspective, the difference here is primarily due to planning, before the disaster, and then following the plan.  So simple!  And yet so unlike the response to Katrina from all concerned.  Most of the blame after Katrina was heaped on the Federal Government, particularly FEMA and President Bush.  However, one should not forget the State and Local authorities, which careful analysis done after the event suggests were far more culpable.

Regardless of the level of blame, President Bush was certainly determined to do a better job in future emergencies.  The efforts at the Federal level certainly showed.  FEMA has new leadership and new plans.  Along with new leadership and new attitudes from old leadership at State and Local levels, as well as excellent coordination and cooperation, the real potential disaster simply didn’t happen.

There is a great article in the Wall Street Journal today on just this topic.  It offers kudos to new FEMA Chief R. David Paulison.  He earns them with his cool head in a crisis, leadership, and excellent planning efforts.  I recommend the article to my readers.  You will find it here: 

There are great lessons to be learned here, for businesses as well as governments.  With good leadership and planning, you may not be able to avoid disasters, but you can mitigate the negative effects!

“If anything can go wrong, it will.”

Then there is MacGillicuddy’s Corollary - “at the most inopportune time.”

And another extension - “It will be all your fault and everyone will know about it.”

And, finally, my extension - “Murphy was an optimist.”  Okay, that one’s not really mine, but I am unable to attribute it at this moment.

Murphy has certainly been in charge of our blog, but we have finally triumphed and are back on the “air”, on a great new server, and with the same great content.  A better look and feel will be coming soon. 

In the meantime, let me close with these Words of Wisdom - “To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.”  If you prefer, plug your own word into the saying instead of “foul”.  We are a family-friendly business.

We thank you for your patience!  Let’s blog on!

In case you would like to read more about Murhpy’s Law, surf over to www.murphys-laws.com.  Enjoy!

No peanuts.  How low can you go?

There was a fabulous article in The Seattle Times this past Sunday, entitled, “Once upon a time, the skies really were friendly.”  Did you read it?  Do take a look if you can.  Those of our readers who will admit to a certain maturity (note, I didn’t say old!) will relate to some of the stories.  To you young whippersnappers, it will seem like a fairy tale.

Like all good fairy tales, this one begins:  “Once upon a time, air travel was exciting and fun.”  Hard to believe?  Check out the examples offered by Times readers.

Yes, I am mature, and I do relate.  My very first plane flight was taken as a young child.  My brave mother, single, with two elementary-school-aged children, decided to visit relatives in Illinois.  Thinking of the trip as a potential experience and “teachable moment”, she eschewed the car and decided to use a combination of train and plane travel. 

We embarked on a flight from Detroit to Chicago.  My brother and I were beside ourselves with excitement!  We got to peek in the cockpit and meet the pilot.  The stewardesses (all women in those days and all slender and pretty) were incredibly nice to us.  Mother, less sanguine, was armed with toys to entertain us and Dramamine to ensure health, since I was prone to motion sickness.

We were buckled into a window and middle seat, with Mother on the aisle.  Probably wanted to make sure we couldn’t escape.  Excitement reigned.  We took off and competed for the view from the window.  How amazing to two little kids!  People below looked like ants.  Once fully airborne, we were surrounded by fluffy white clouds, marshmellows to us.  Was God out there?

After a while, things got more interesting, for the adults.  We hit some wind.  Instead of a smooth flight (”Feels like you are sitting in your living room!”), we were suddenly on a roller coaster.  We would go up, hover a moment, then plunge down, leaving our stomachs behind.  My brother and I loved it!  We squealed with delight.  Mother took the Dramamine.

We landed in Chicago on time, 5 mintes earlier than we took off due to the change in time zone.  This was yet another wonder to me and my brother.  We talked about it for weeks.  We were ushered off the plane, with apologies from the flight crew about the roller coaster.  (What was to apologize for?  We’d had a ball!)

By contrast, our train ride from Chicago to Peoria was a drag.  It was slow, noisy, and dirty.  We hated it.  This was the start of a love affair with flying.

In the late 1950’s when I started flying (yes, I am that old), it was still new enough to be special.  We still ran out of the house to look when someone hollered about an airplane overhead.  (This stopped when the flight paths for Detroit Metro were rerouted over our house.)  Parents took their kids to airports just to watch the planes take off and land.  We dressed up for this.  People dressed up to travel, especially when they flew.  There was a glamour and an excitement to air travel in those days.  And the service fit the mood perfectly.

Given the fact that airline travel is now SOP for a large percentage of Americans, it is natural that the romance of it would be gone.  But is it really necessary for the pleasant service to follow suit?  I think air travel can be spartan without being so de-humanizing.  And good service can go a long way toward accomplishing that.

Next time I decide to reminisce, perhaps I’ll tell you about my very first business trip.  What flying stories do you have?  Please share them!

So, this has been a good TV week.  Most shows have their season finales, with great stories and cliff-hanger endings.  One of my favorites is NCIS.  The usual draw for fans in a police drama’s finale is leaking the fact that a series regular will die.  We all tune in to find out who.

The NCIS finale was a great action story, with plenty of suspense, rule breaking, insights into various characters, and an exciting gun battle.  For those of you awaiting a rerun, I will skip the “who died” part and move on to why I am talking about TV on a business blog.

At the tail end of the show, there is a new director of NCIS.  He hands out envelopes to each of the main characters, and tells them their new assignments, all in different places.  In short, he is breaking up the team.  There the episode ends.  The cliff-hanger, right?  We have to wait for fall to find out the outcomes.  Which of our favorite characters is returning?  (In addition to who died, of course.)

I was struck by the management lesson.  If a new manager is stepping into the lead, what should be done with the team reporting to him/her?  My take is, barring unusual circumstances, not what this guy did.  I would spend some time with that team to assess their strengths, both individually and as a group.  An effective team will equal more than the sum of its parts.  It will accomplish greater things because of the synergies resulting from a team familiar with its members and all of their strengths. 

Even more telling, to me, is that an effective team has enough of a track record to establish high levels of trust.  This is particularly important in a dangerous profession, such as law enforcement.  You just don’t break up an effective team without a better reason than I saw here.  It’s a criminal waste.

Why did the new director do this?  I think it was a power play, pure and simple.  And I think it may blow up in the guy’s face.  But I will have to wait until fall to find out.

Darn!

I took my mother to her appointment recently.  For her, it’s a bigger deal, since she has had breast cancer.  She has beat it and remains cancer free, but you can imagine her level of trepidation and the especially tender state of her breasts after surgery, radiation, etc.  We went to a local breast center, attached to a reputable hospital where her surgeon (a truly wonderful man and skilled surgeon) practices.  If only their attitudes matched his!

Speed and efficiency seemed the primary goals at this location.  Mother is handicapped and walks very slowly with a walker and we could sense the impatience all around.  Ushered to a thinly curtained booth, she was instructed - quickly - to strip from the waist up and put on the gown with the opening in the front.  Then, the woman split.  Mother didn’t hear a word (she’s partially deaf), so I repeated.  I also told her to wash off her deoderant (SOP since it distorts the image), which the woman had forgotten.  Mother changed, then took a seat in the tiny waiting area and I joined her.

The same woman eventually returned, and led Mother into the exam room.  Afterwards, I helped her dress, retrieved her walker and we left.  Once in the car, Mother commented on the technician’s manner during the exam.  For my male readers who have not experienced the joy of a mammogram, you need to understand that you have to assume a very awkward position for this xray, with your breast smashed painfully between a couple of plates.  My handicapped mother was having great difficulty getting into the position and the woman got impatient and angry with her!  Mother defended herself, explaining that she was physically unable to move quickly or into the position quite the way she was being directed, and the woman finally calmed down.  Mother was understandably disturbed by this.  I was outraged.

Now, let us recap.  You have an elderly, handicapped woman who has difficulty moving and hearing, and who had bilateral partial mastectomies and radiation just last year.  She remembers the pain and she is frightened.  If this were your customer, and a very typical one given your trade, how would you treat her?  If you were a manager, how would you direct your employees?  What would be the primary goal for your customer service?

Contrast this with my last mammogram experience, just a few months ago, but at a different breast center.  I was greeted with a smile, handed paperwork with discretion, and asked to take a seat.  Another woman came to get me, ushered me into another room and to a booth with a door, not a thin curtain.  I was given a short gown and directed to place my valuables in a locker, which was supplied with a key on an elastic bracelet.  The very pleasant woman asked if I was wearing deoderant, showed me where the wipes were in case I was, and left me to change my clothes.  While seated in the quiet waiting area adjacent to the dressing booths, another woman came, gave me pamphlets about breast exams and cancer and offered to answer any questions.

During my actual exam, I was handled with kindness.  The technician was efficient, but not rushed.  She was focused on me and making an unpleasant moment pass as easily as possible.  Her manner was professional, unhurried, friendly and reassuring.

What a contrast.  My only concern about all of this is what I will do if my test is positive and I have to choose between my breast center/hospital and Mother’s breast surgeon.  It will be a tough choice.

By the way, our test ressults were good.  We are both free of cancer.

If we are going to converse well with all the digital receptionists out there, we need to give the process a little more thought so we can convey an image of professionalism.  We may be sitting in a home office wearing a robe and bunny slippers, but our client/prospect/colleague will never know it unless we tell them, right?

So, how does one leave a good voicemail message?  Here are my thoughts.

1. Start by identifying yourself and your company or organization.  (It’s amazing to me how often this critical first step is left out.)
2. Speak clearly.  Enunciate.  Don’t speak too quickly.  (Have you ever noticed, with frustration, that many people speak at an excellent, easy to understand pace until they get to their phone numbers?  Then they rattle the number off so fast you can’t get it written down.  Aarrrgghh!)
3. Leave a complete, but concise message.  Don’t keep rambling on.  The fine details are best left to the actual conversation.
4. Don’t leave numeric or financial details on a voicemail message!  (My partner often comments about getting detailed financial data on a voicemail message as he drives down the freeway.  Save it!)
5. Prepare yourself before you dial the phone.  If you know in advance what you want and need to say if you miss the person and get the voicemail, you are far more likely to be able to leave a brief, professional message without stumbling and feeling foolish.

Dennis got a call today from a woman probably intending to follow up on arrangements for a conference he is planning to attend, but he can’t be sure.  She identified herself only by her first name, never mentioned the organization, and simply asked if his registration was complete and his hotel arrangements made.  Then she left her phone number, speeding up to a tempo approaching the speed of light.  He had to listen to the message multiple times to catch the number.  Then he had to guess where she was from and why she was calling.  Not very professional, or even useful. 

The phone is frequently your first contact with a customer or prospect.  How you and your employees answer the phone and leave voicemail messages will leave an impression, maybe an indelible one.  How do you want to be perceived?  Think it through.  Then, once you work out how you leave messages, don’t forget to train employees so they can do the same.  Consistency, across your organization, will give a great impression!

There is a great cartoon, currently posted on our web site, that reminds us of the principle behind my comments here.  It’s from the New Yorker collection and says, “On the Internet, no one knows you’re a dog.” 

Woof!

Come on, folks!  The English language is incredibly rich, allowing such precision and beauty of expression.  It’s fine to use simpler language for casual conversation, but aren’t we going a bit too far here?

Listen to the conversation of our young people to be guaranteed a quick example.  Even more appalling, these speech patterns have crept into adult conversation, both at home and (gulp!) at work.  That’s bad enough.  Then, I started hearing this more and more from people who make their living by speaking - media professionals.  One slip during a casual moment on the air is one thing, but when I start hearing people like Bill O’Reilly using such speech on a fairly regularly basis, I am left to wonder what the world is coming to!

Listen to the conversations around you and consider carefully what you hear.  The general flow will go something like this:

“He said (fill in whatever comment).  I go (fill in whatever reply).”

“She said (fill in another inane, but emotion-producing comment).  I was like (fill in whatever emotion was aroused).”

Whatever happened to “I said” or “I exclaimed” or “I opined”.  (Just trying to keep it pithy, since I mention Bill O’Reilly.)

How about “I felt” or “I was (something else besides “like”).  Try “I was angry” or “I was surprised” or “I was happy”.

Any of my suggestions is far more descriptive and useful in conveying real meaning to the listener.  Think about it and maybe try a different pattern of speech the next time you catch yourself overdoing it with “I go” or “I’m like”.  The Word Cop will be incredibly grateful!

What do you think? 

However, we need to hang on to some perspective here.  According to Employment Security Commissioner Karen Lee,  ”March was the 18th month in a row that Washington’s unemployment was under 5 percent. It is a phenomenal record, despite the rise in unemployment.”  

Even more telling, if we trouble to remember it, is that an unemployment rate below 5% has long been considered full employment.  The current angst seems a little extreme given these numbers and these facts. 

 In Washington, we are better off than the nation as a whole.  Nationally, the rate jumped to 5.1% in February, from 4.8%.  Even that higher rate is close to that full employment level, although there are areas of real job challenge in the country.  I was born and raised in Michigan where the state’s economic health goes hand in hand with the auto industry.  So they are far closer to a real recession than we are in Washington.  During my last visit to Michigan, seeing so many lakefront mansions in Grosse Pointe for sale, and languishing on the market, was something of a shock. 

Yes, we are facing some real economic challenges in this country, but let’s remember history and count our blessings.  I finished my college education in 1975 and hit the job market with an unemployement rate fluctuating between 8 and 9%!  I am not relying solely on my memory here.  I got those numbers from The Federal Reserve Board - a chart showing civilian unemployment rates from 1974 - 2007.  (Ya gotta love the internet!) 

About 8 years later, when I had saved enough to by my first house, I managed to get an FHA mortgage at 13.5% and thought it was a great deal.  (It was, at the time.  By the mid 1980’s, many of my friends and colleagues had mortgages of 17% and higher!) 

We may have something of a bumpy economic road ahead of us, but let’s not lose sight of the actual numbers.  We can hang onto perspective, and a great deal more calm, if we use real information and logic, not just emotion.