Business In Washington - Business Operations Consulting

The Word Cop is back and shaking her head in despair.  This time she despairs over the fact that current popular vernacular appears to contain only 2 verbs.  Those two are “go” and “I’m like”.  That second one isn’t even a real verb, but a made up one.  It makes me cringe every time I hear it.

Come on, folks!  The English language is incredibly rich, allowing such precision and beauty of expression.  It’s fine to use simpler language for casual conversation, but aren’t we going a bit too far here?

Listen to the conversation of our young people to be guaranteed a quick example.  Even more appalling, these speech patterns have crept into adult conversation, both at home and (gulp!) at work.  That’s bad enough.  Then, I started hearing this more and more from people who make their living by speaking - media professionals.  One slip during a casual moment on the air is one thing, but when I start hearing people like Bill O’Reilly using such speech on a fairly regularly basis, I am left to wonder what the world is coming to!

Listen to the conversations around you and consider carefully what you hear.  The general flow will go something like this:

“He said (fill in whatever comment).  I go (fill in whatever reply).”

“She said (fill in another inane, but emotion-producing comment).  I was like (fill in whatever emotion was aroused).”

Whatever happened to “I said” or “I exclaimed” or “I opined”.  (Just trying to keep it pithy, since I mention Bill O’Reilly.)

How about “I felt” or “I was (something else besides “like”).  Try “I was angry” or “I was surprised” or “I was happy”.

Any of my suggestions is far more descriptive and useful in conveying real meaning to the listener.  Think about it and maybe try a different pattern of speech the next time you catch yourself overdoing it with “I go” or “I’m like”.  The Word Cop will be incredibly grateful!

What do you think? 

Professionals have to be able to communicate, both in writing and in speech.  How we communicate gives an instant impression of our professional persona - good or bad - to colleagues, clients, and potential clients.  So how do you want to appear to these critical audiences?

I have quoted Professor Higgins, of My Fair Lady fame, before.  The basis of the entire plot of the play supports my premise here.  The professor makes a bet with a buddy that he can take a flower girl, with an abysmal accent and lousy English usage, and pass her off as a duchess at an Embassy ball simply by teaching her to speak properly.  In one of the great songs in the musical (lyrics by Alan Jay Lerner, one of my heroes - what a writer!), he laments the fact that Englishmen and women are instantly classified by their speech.  “This verbal class distinction, by now should be antique.”  I agree.

So let me take a few moments here to plead with my fellow English speakers, especially Americans, to take greater care with their speech.  Make a better, more positive impression in your professional life - our 21st century equivalent of that Embassy ball.

Let me help by offering a few of my pronunciation pet peeves.

• Etcetera - Okay, be honest.  How many of you out there pronounce this as “ek - cetera”?  That second letter is a “t”, not a “k”, and the word is pronounced accordingly.  The most egregious offenders here tend to be the people who use the word the most.
• “Moot” versus “Mute” - These words are different, with different meanings and different pronunciations.  The first is pronounced just the way it is spelled, with an “oo” sound, like the sound of a cow.  “Mute” is pronounced “myoot”.  I can’t count the number of times I have heard the words confused.  “That’s a mute point.”  Huh?  That’s a point you can’t hear because it is muted?  Bad pronunciation clouds meaning.
• Nuclear - President Bush has made this one infamous.  His is the classic, very annoying and way too common mispronunciation:  “Nuculer”.  What is so difficult about this word?  It is “nu-cle-ar”. 
• Realtor - This one is similar to “nuclear”.  The common mispronunciation is “re-la-tor”.  Wrong!  It is “real-tor”.  If actual Realtors had to pronounce the word correctly in order to be licensed, more than half would be out of work.  They are the worst offenders.

Enough for now!  I am sure I will have more to share in future.  Please share your pronunciation pet peeves!

I’ve aired plenty of beefs about crimes against the English language.  There’s certainly no shortage of material for ranting.  Today, however, I have a rave.  It’s a rare thing from me, so enjoy it.

My kudos today go to a local grocery chain, Quality Food Centers (QFC).  They’ve had their challenges in recent years, enduring two acquisitions by big grocery chains, Kroger being the most recent.  So the stores, at least the ones near me, had deteriorated quite a bit.  Simply put, QFC’s mission and market didn’t match Kroger’s idea of what they should be.  At least, this is what I have observed from the outside as a customer.

This situation has begun to turn around.  The stores are being refurbished, remodeled, and upgraded.  They are going more upscale, probably to compete with stores the like of Central Market.  I, for one customer, welcome the change. 

Last night, after a brutally busy day, I stopped by my local QFC to do some emergency shopping.  Some things you just can’t do without, and we were without.  I dragged my tired body around the store, locating most of what I needed and figured the heck with the rest.  Somewhat numb, I approached the checkout stand.

The stand right in front of me appeared to be closing, but the cashier gestured to come on.  She would take care of me.  I noticed that it was the express lane, and stated that I had more than 12 items.  She still indicated she would be happy to take care of me.  Then I really looked at the sign and stopped dead.

“Express Lane.  12 items or fewer.”

I don’t know how many times I have groaned over the ubiquitous signs with their equally ubiquitous errors in grammar - 12 items or less.  Wrong, wrong, wrong!

I turned to the cashier and congratulated her and the store for getting it right!  She looked at me as if I was somewhat addled, and proceeded to add up my grocery tab.  All right, maybe she was tired, too.

No matter.  Congratulations to the QFC management for removing one of the smaller annoyances that clutter my life.  There is no better signal of the store’s re-emergence as a Quality Food Center, at least to me.

I’ve been reading my favorite newspaper again - The Wall Street Journal.  The breadth and depth of its subjects and coverage never fail to grab my interest and impress me.

This time, the article in question is “Me, Myself, and I”, written by Collin Levy and published in the Monday, January 14, 2008 edition of the WSJ.  Ms. Levy is commenting on the speech we have been hearing during the campaign and says the following:

“For all the rhetorical flourish on display, many of the presidential candidates still don’t have a grip on the King’s English.”

The Word Cop is not surprised.  Have you listened to the candidates as they debate and speak?  Sometimes, I just cringe. 

Ms. Levy’s article is focused on the use and misuse of the very words of her title.  She begins with “myself”.  Instead of saying “like me”, it has become fashionable to say “like myself”.  She quotes sportswriter Red Smith, who said, “Myself is the foxhole of ignorance, where cowards take refuge, because they were taught that me is vulgar and I is egotistical.”  Quite apart from the excellent point Red Smith makes, isn’t that a wonderful way to say it?  Ms. Levy goes on to say, “In the same spirit, “myself” has become the campaign’s de rigueur grammar cop-out, substituted for I or me when the candidate isn’t sure which is accurate - or worse, assumes Americans will see proper English as elitist.”

It’s a great article.  I recommend it to all of you out there who appreciate how elegant and wonderful the English language can be when used correctly. 

It is also refreshing that, for once, President Bush is singled out for using correct grammar.  The article concludes with this.

Referring to his own grammatical quirks in a debate with Al Gore, the then Texas governor’s usage was impeccable.  “Well, we all make mistakes,” he said, “I’ve been known to mangle a syllable or two myself.”

All of us endure a constant onslaught of advertising, particularly on television.  I do my best to tune out most of it.  In fact, I love my mute button when I can get to it.  However, when I am cooking and using the TV to keep me company, my hands are often too occupied, or too wet, to handle the remote.  Then I must attempt to ignore the ads, even though the volume always goes up.

Today, I heard the Hughes.net ad one time too many.  They’ve been using the same attractive red head for some time now, so she must be making money for them.  Couldn’t they give her a little speech coaching?  Here’s my beef - vowels.  We have 5, sometimes 6 of them (a, e, i, o, u, and sometimes y, to quote from elementary school English class) and they all sound different.  From this woman, they all sound the same.  The real rant is this.  She is not unique.  Most Americans are extremely careless with their speech.

Back to my red head.  She asks the question that goes something like, “Think you can’t get fast internet service because of where you live?”  Then, the clincher.  “Don’t buh-lieve it.”  Buh-lieve?  Is that anything like believe?  Then, to ad insult to injury, she moves on to, “Hughes Net duh-livers”.  Frankly, I would prefer that a vender “deliver”.  What’s “duh-liver”?  Duh liver and bacon I would refuse to eat if it ever appeared on my dinner plate?  I’ve heard this ad so many times, with its lousy pronunciation, that my ears hurt.

Then there is the word “immediately”.  Very useful, heavily used word.  Listen for it in speech, from everyone.  Then, note how frequently the word is pronounced “ah-mediately”.  My very unscientific and frustrated observation has the percentage at 90.  90% of the time, the word is mispronounced.

I will accept this sort of mispronunciation only in humor.  Thank goodness for Scott Adams and his well-loved characters Dilbert and Dogbert.  They speak of “in-duh-viduals”.  In other words, idiots.

Duh!

The word cop is back today.  This time, I would like to speak more seriously to the many young people out there who are just entering the work force or preparing to do so soon.  So many of them can’t seem to speak without inserting the word “like” every second or third word they utter.  Then, there is the constant overuse and misuse of the word “go”.  Call me picky, but I thought the word to indicate something uttered verbally was “say”, not “go”.

Yes, this is a major beef I have.  It irritates me no end.  My larger concern, however, is the effect this type of speech can have on the careers of our young people.  Don’t get me wrong.  I think slang is a wonderful thing.  It is fascinating, colorful, and conveys incredible meaning to one’s peers.  Therein lies part of the issue.  Every human group has its own special terminology, allowing them to communicate in ways that say, “I am a member here.  I belong.”  There is comfort in this, especially for adolescents for whom the only sin is to be different.  (You might ask how I know this, but that’s another blog entry.)  However, it’s a big world out there and you can’t exist, or make a living, totally within your own little group.

My recommendation to young people preparing to make their own way in the world is this.  Use and enjoy your slang, but make sure you can speak well in standard, correct English, too.  Cultivate the ability to turn the slang off at will, so you can make the very best impression on potential employers, colleagues, and customers.  You will have a far greater chance of success if you master the art of communication, both written and spoken, in correct modern English.

Let’s make sure we can prove Professor Higgins, of My Fair Lady fame, wrong when he sings, “Why can’t the English teach their children how to speak?”  A ways into the song he asks, “Why can’t they set a good example, for people who’s English is painful to your ears?  The Scotch and the Irish leave you close to tears.  There even are places where English completely disappears.  Why in America they haven’t used it in years!”

I confess, I was raised by an English teacher.  I am also an avid reader and writer.  English is a magnificent language, full of rich words that allow us to express ourselves in countless ways and at every emotional level.  I love it and use it with pleasure every day.  I don’t claim to write or speak with absolutely perfect English, but I am struck by how poorly so many of my fellow professionals write and speak.  Some of the errors just grate on me!  So today I am initiating a new category on my blog - Words @ Work.  This is my vehicle for rants and raves on current English use and abuse. 

 I will start with one I hear primarily from the news media.  That expression is “went missing”.  What happened to “disappeared”?  Or “vanished”?  I am not even sure if correct English “went missing” here.  It may be a correct usage, but I hate it!

 Let me move on to another gem.  I don’t know about you, but I “graduated from” high school, as well as college.  I did not “graduate high school”.  Is this a West Coast thing?  I don’t recall hearing this when I lived east of the Mississippi.

 Here’s another one I hear far too frequently from the English-challenged TV media.  There is a distinct difference between “cache” and “cachet”.  “Cache” (pronounced like “cash”) is a hiding place or stash, such as an emergency food “cache”.  “Cachet” (pronounced “cash-AY”) denotes superior status or prestige.  “The job had a certain cachet” is an example I found in an online dictionary.  Listen to your daily dose of TV news and I’ll bet you can catch many examples of confusion with these words, over pronunciation, meaning, or both.

 Enough from me today.  What are your pet English peeves?  Please share them!