Business In Washington - Business Operations & Management Consulting

Some words make their way into the English language that absolutely should not. One of these is the unfortunate product of a crime, namely verbicide. The perpetrators took the noun “incentive” and twisted it into an awkward verb - “incentivize.” I have heard this abomination one time too many in recent days, so I decided to delve into my dictionaries. Naturally, as The Word Cop, I have lots of them.

I started with the largest, thickest dictionary on my shelf – Webster’s New Universal Unabridged Dictionary. That’s “unabridged”, i.e. left alone, not shortened, nothing left out. Sounded like the right source to me.

What did I find? I found the venerable, and correct, noun – “incentive”. No reference to “incentivize”, or even “incent”, which is a shortened version that at least sounds better, if just as incorrect.

I moved on to The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language. This was the dictionary my mother gave me in the 1960’s. It made a big splash at the time because it included all the naughty words, the swear words, and the four-letter words. Mother, being an English teacher, got a kick out of handing out dictionaries to both of her kids and all of her nieces and nephews on Christmas Day. (To the dismay of her siblings and siblings-in-law, she also informed each child that they could look up swear words in that dictionary. To her delight – no dismay here - , they all dove right in.)

Any dictionary that includes four-letter words ought to include newer English creations, Americanisms and/or slang, right? Wrong. No “incentivize” and no “incent”. (It does include many other interesting words, however. I can still remember the day, shortly after the Christmas of the Dictionaries, when Mother called to me from the kitchen, “Margaret, look up chicken shit.” You can imagine the rest and, yes, it is there.)

I turned next to the World Wide Web. How did we ever exist without this resource? Here, I was more successful. They list newly created words, bastardized expressions, and illegitimate results of crimes such as verbicide. Dictionary.com defined it as a verb meaning “to give incentives to”. They added that it originated in 1965-70 and was an “Americanism”. (Is that good or bad? Maybe it depends on which side of the pond you are on.) They also quoted the World English Dictionary (their source being Collins English Dictionary), which defined it much the same, but spelled it “incentivise”.

Then I found www.onelook.com. Jackpot! They obligingly search multiple dictionaries and present the searcher with a handy list of links. I worked my way down the list. Most indicated that the word originated in the business world, that source of so many examples of bad English, and that it was created in the 1960’s or 1970’s, then shortened in the 80’s or 90’s to “incent”.

Beginning to get bored with the repetitious list, I worked my way down to the Urban Dictionary, www.urbandictionary.com. This one made my day, to quote Dirty Harry. They listed a couple of helpful definitions, along with examples of usage. Let me share at least one. You can surf over for more. First, their definition:

“A corporate-jargon non-word meaning “motivate,” coined in 1968. Some 10 years later, it was shortened to the equally annoying verb “incent.” Unfortunately, both are recognized by both Merriam-Webster and the OED. The only respectable form of the word is the noun “incentive.”

And now, the example:

“I would like to motivate him to never say “incentivize” again by telling him I will rip his windpipe out of his throat the next time I hear him say it.”

I roared with laughter! My husband entered my office for explanations and to share the laugh. My thanks to the Urban Dictionary! I will be surfing over there again, let me assure you. Of course, The Word Cop would never threaten such violence!

“Go ahead. Make my day……….”

Greetings, gentle readers! The Word Cop was enjoying a peaceful lunch break just now, listening to the news and attempting to ignore the commercials. In spite of my best efforts, one commercial intruded on my reveries and the fighting Word Cop had to come out!

The ad was for Guaranteed Tax Relief. First off, let me state categorically that my comments here are not intended to insult or otherwise disparage this company. I know nothing about them. They may very well have a heck of a fine service. I will leave potential customers on their own to make that judgment.

My only issue here is with their grammar. Their URL, that primary tool of branding and communicating on the internet, is www.lesstaxes.com. AAARRRRGGGHHH, to quote Charlie Brown. You can pay “less tax” or “fewer taxes”, never “less taxes”. Got it? It’s a simple concept. “Less” goes with a single item and “fewer” goes with a multiple of something. So, for example, to prevent cavities, eat less candy or fewer candies.

Now, I realize that the owners and employees of a company like Guaranteed Tax Relief are financial professionals, not grammarians, so I would like to cut them some slack. However, if you are going to spend money advertising and branding, wouldn’t you like to create an impression of professionalism? Poor grammar won’t help with that.

This company is stuck with a URL that declares to all and sundry on the web, and watching television since it was on their ad, that they have an English problem. Their own knowledge of proper English is lacking, they are too cheap to hire skilled editorial help, or they simply don’t care.

It is my fervent hope that this is just a simple oversight, soon to be corrected. As promised, slack from the Word Cop!

Greetings to all of our faithful readers!  You may have wondered exactly where we have been hiding for the last couple of weeks.  Well, Murphy’s Law is in full force for all of us.  Remember that one?  It goes something like this:

“If anything can go wrong, it will.”

Then there is MacGillicuddy’s Corollary - “at the most inopportune time.”

And another extension - “It will be all your fault and everyone will know about it.”

And, finally, my extension - “Murphy was an optimist.”  Okay, that one’s not really mine, but I am unable to attribute it at this moment.

Murphy has certainly been in charge of our blog, but we have finally triumphed and are back on the “air”, on a great new server, and with the same great content.  A better look and feel will be coming soon. 

In the meantime, let me close with these Words of Wisdom - “To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.”  If you prefer, plug your own word into the saying instead of “foul”.  We are a family-friendly business.

We thank you for your patience!  Let’s blog on!

In case you would like to read more about Murhpy’s Law, surf over to www.murphys-laws.com.  Enjoy!

I’ve aired plenty of beefs about crimes against the English language.  There’s certainly no shortage of material for ranting.  Today, however, I have a rave.  It’s a rare thing from me, so enjoy it.

My kudos today go to a local grocery chain, Quality Food Centers (QFC).  They’ve had their challenges in recent years, enduring two acquisitions by big grocery chains, Kroger being the most recent.  So the stores, at least the ones near me, had deteriorated quite a bit.  Simply put, QFC’s mission and market didn’t match Kroger’s idea of what they should be.  At least, this is what I have observed from the outside as a customer.

This situation has begun to turn around.  The stores are being refurbished, remodeled, and upgraded.  They are going more upscale, probably to compete with stores the like of Central Market.  I, for one customer, welcome the change. 

Last night, after a brutally busy day, I stopped by my local QFC to do some emergency shopping.  Some things you just can’t do without, and we were without.  I dragged my tired body around the store, locating most of what I needed and figured the heck with the rest.  Somewhat numb, I approached the checkout stand.

The stand right in front of me appeared to be closing, but the cashier gestured to come on.  She would take care of me.  I noticed that it was the express lane, and stated that I had more than 12 items.  She still indicated she would be happy to take care of me.  Then I really looked at the sign and stopped dead.

“Express Lane.  12 items or fewer.”

I don’t know how many times I have groaned over the ubiquitous signs with their equally ubiquitous errors in grammar - 12 items or less.  Wrong, wrong, wrong!

I turned to the cashier and congratulated her and the store for getting it right!  She looked at me as if I was somewhat addled, and proceeded to add up my grocery tab.  All right, maybe she was tired, too.

No matter.  Congratulations to the QFC management for removing one of the smaller annoyances that clutter my life.  There is no better signal of the store’s re-emergence as a Quality Food Center, at least to me.